Eight Tips To Develop Self-control

Self-control is a quality we develop when we have to wait to get what we want. We all know we have self-control, but sometimes we wonder if it’s worth the wait.

While it may be difficult to always exercise self-control, it is essential to achieve our goals for the future.

Self-control is probably the most important psychological trait we have. It involves achieving a certain emotional balance that allows us to resist our impulses. This is extremely important for our sense of well-being.

Let’s take a look at an example:

In your fridge are a nice apple and a delicious piece of chocolate cake. And while you’ve made it a point not to eat anything that doesn’t fit into your diet, somehow your hand is reaching for that most appealing treat in your fridge…

Let’s be honest, we’ve all been through a situation like this.

Long-term goals (such as losing weight, for example) often conflict with our immediate desires (a nice piece of chocolate cake).

It is important to gain control over these immediate desires and those temporary forms of gratification. This way we can prevent our goals and motivation from being destroyed in one fell swoop.

This is the secret to a lot of situations in life.

Why do we lose our control?

Although we really want to lose those extra pounds and we are really committed to our diet, for some reason we often give in to the various temptations around us. How come?

Our degree of self-control is influenced by two psychological factors: our impulses and our reflexes.

• Our impulses respond to our environment. They deal with stimuli or elements that can provide us with pleasure (chocolate cake for example). This is one of the reasons why, for example, it is not wise to go shopping when you are hungry.
• Our reflexes plan and alert us to the consequences that our behavior will have. They are the part of our personality that tells us that it doesn’t matter how delicious that chocolate cake is; there are always consequences.

Thinking about what we are going to do requires a lot of facilities and the ability to control ourselves. This is definitely not easy, but it is worth it.

Diligent self-control makes things like going to the gym a habit.  As a result, we will not suffer from inner dilemmas the moment we are glued to the couch with our buttocks, as always.

Remember, you only need to do something every day for twenty-one days in a row before your body starts to see it as a habit.

Postponing pleasure and success in life

Our childhood provides the best example of why it is important to be able to delay pleasure and tolerate frustration.

We all know how hard it is for a child to stay away from sweets or toys. Even if they know it’s not allowed and there’s a guardian around, they’ll find it hard to resist the temptation.

The famous psychologist Walter Mischel took this phenomenon to the extreme with a well-known experiment: the marshmallow test. 

Mischel’s study found that delaying pleasure consists of controlling the immediate impulse to eat a marshmallow because you know you can get another one.

Through this study, Mischel was able to demonstrate the link between self-control and success in life. This study indicates that self-testing and self-monitoring is very helpful. It can be the secret to successful development.

Eight tips to develop self-control

Although we as humans are not born with self-control, we can develop that control. For example, self-control is especially important to be able to stop smoking, lose weight or train for the marathon.

Below we share eight tips that can help you develop more self-control.

1. Be aware of the risks and negative consequences associated with certain behaviors. Think of rules for yourself, such as ‘if…then…’. That way you won’t lose sight of your goal.

2. Strengthen your personal commitment by letting those around you know about your goals, along with your plan of action.

3. Convert your goals into small steps or tasks that you have to complete over and over.

4. Enjoy the small successes and celebrate the moment you reach your goals.

5. Adjust your impulses by creating a connection between the external aspect and the temptation.

6. Train your memory to always think about the goals you want to achieve.

7. Think about the situations that could jeopardize the achievement of your goals.

8. Take breaks to replenish your mental supplies and motivation.

Conclusion

Either way, the path to self-control involves learning to maintain temptation and take advantage of your strengths. 

Whenever we encounter a dilemma between an immediate situation and a long-term goal, we should try to imagine how our reflexes battle our impulses.

Which of the two do you think deserves to win the battle?