Parental Alienation Syndrome: What Is It And How Can You Prevent It?

The parental alienation syndrome is a concept that is not (yet) included in any psychiatric manual. But everyone should be aware that it exists.

Many parents stay together. Sometimes they use the excuse that their children need a united family. The reason could also be that they are so dependent on the other person that they try everything to stay with them before ending the relationship.

When children are involved, the solution of marital problems should be done as quickly and simply as possible. Parents should also always try to end the relationship on good terms so that no one gets hurt.

So you end the relationship with your spouse so that you can end your problems. But that doesn’t mean you give up. In fact, it means that as a parent you think about what is best for your children.

“Your father is a bad guy”

Ultimately, a child may think negatively about one of its parents. This is a result of parental alienation syndrome. Because as soon as the parents are divorced or already during the divorce process, it can happen that they make black with the other. They then speak ill of the other parent.

Many parents don’t think about the damage their attitude can cause. It’s like they only think about themselves. They forget that their children are in a very sensitive phase. Because they absorb everything. Any negative experience can then leave a mark on them that will affect them in the future.

For example, a parent says to his child “Your father is a bad guy” . Then the child may begin to develop parental alienation syndrome. As a result, the child will lose faith in his or her father. They will behave unreasonably towards him. It may even come to the point where they despise him. But in reality, the father has done nothing wrong.

If this father also speaks ill of his ex-wife, it is possible that the child is confronted with a flood of emotions. The child will not know how to deal with this.

In this case, he will not trust either parent. For that reason, the child will experience a distrust that constantly switches sides. This happens when the parents try to get him on their side.

How can you prevent parental alienation syndrome?

Parental alienation syndrome can make any child feel insecure. He will have less confidence. In addition, he or she will lose respect for his or her parents.

It can also make them susceptible to the opinions of others. They will also often get carried away by these opinions. This is due to their low self-esteem which comes from their experiences.

Therefore, it is imperative that the parents avoid behaviors that can provoke the development of this syndrome. Avoiding these types of behavior will also prevent damage that could affect the child’s future.

Here are some examples of these behaviors:

• Speaking ill of the other parent in the presence of the child.
• Trying to manipulate the child by making him feel bad for wanting to see the other parent.
• Accept and applaud any word or attitude that harms the other parent.
• Talk about the divorce without going into details.

In these cases it is very important that you do not use your child as a support. Also, don’t be cruel to the other parent. Your children are not guilty of anything. Moreover, by doing this you will also come out badly yourself.

Be honest and sincere with your children

You need to talk about the divorce even with the youngest children. For many parents mistakenly believe that their children will not understand the gravity of the situation because they are so young.

To do this you need to use simple language and clearly answer any question they may have. Most importantly, the child knows it’s happening and why it’s happening, but without making them feel lost because they don’t understand anything about it.

The reason for this is that children need to understand that a divorce is normal. They also need to realize that the fact that their parents are divorcing is not the worst thing in the world. Because both parents will still love them equally.

All this will help the child. Because it will avoid them feeling sad and disconnected when their parents get divorced. In this way, the child will also see that a negative environment does not make people happy. The child will also understand that when he himself is in a bad environment it is best to get away from it.

One of the most important things for the child to understand is that his parents will never stop loving him or wanting to spend time with him, even if they are divorced.