Why Your Ex Hates You

If you have anything else that connects you to your ex (e.g. children), it is very important to build a bond with your ex. However, in some cases this seems impossible and you wonder why your ex hates you.

In this article we list a number of reasons for you. It doesn’t matter who ended the relationship. What matters is that you find a way to move on.

Why your ex hates you

There are different ways to deal with a divorce or breakup. Unfortunately, not all ways are equally positive and some ways can lead to serious problems.

If you think your ex hates you, you may even be right. However, it is very important to know why your ex hates you. 

A person may hide his or her feelings behind a sense of contempt. This sometimes happens because it is more difficult to deal with other emotions. Here are some reasons why your ex hates you or treats you badly.

1. Sadness

We are not trying to defend your ex’s actions. We’re simply trying to figure out why they behave that way towards you. For example, if you were the one who ended the relationship, your ex may still be very sad. This can make you feel like your ex has come to hate you.

Of course, this behavior doesn’t solve anything. It may even make the situation worse. Unfortunately, this is sometimes the way people behave when they are trying to deal with grief.

Try to compare the situation to an injured animal. After all, injured animals also get on the defensive when someone tries to help them. This can also be the case for your ex. Your ex then hides his grief behind envy.

3. Wounded Pride

Men often have a hard time with the end of a relationship if they are not the ones who broke it up. In these cases, it feels like an attack on their masculinity. This is a problem on several levels:

• biological
• evolutionary
• cultural

Maybe your ex is showing bad behavior towards you because he wants to protect his confidence. In addition, he may not want to show you how he really feels.

In addition, he may blame you for your breakup, while he doesn’t want to accept that the blame was on both of you. Placing the blame on you will prevent him from feeling less of a man.

3. It’s all still fresh

Suppose you just broke up and ended the relationship. It is very understandable that your ex behaves badly! He feels different emotions, for example: 

• sadness
• confusion
• depression

Keep in mind that his sense of pride will ensure that he probably won’t try to get you back. Not even if this is actually what he wants. He will not bend one knee and beg for forgiveness. In fact, men usually do the opposite and treat you with contempt. 

How to prevent this

This is an important first step to find out why your ex hates you. In most cases, this is not done on purpose and can even lead to regret and guilt if your ex doesn’t think about it properly. However, this does not mean that you have to accept this.

1. Ignore it

In the event that your ex is treating you badly, it’s best to pretend that nothing is wrong. After a mean remark, it’s better to respond with a smile and look away from them.

• Don’t show that the mean comment offended you.
• Don’t be tempted to argue.
• Do not respond to abusive or negative comments.

If you don’t respond, your ex will eventually get tired of the situation. At some point he will stop making these negative comments.

2. Show you’re over it

It’s important to show that your ex’s comments don’t touch you. Show that you are emotionally mature. This will make your ex realize that he has to get over the situation as quickly as possible.

3. Try to make peace

If you have children together and will need to see each other often, it’s a good idea to talk about your ex’s behavior together. For example, tell your ex not to behave that way towards you.

Also ask why he hates you so much and try to find the best solution. In any case, try to make sure that the situation looks normal to your children.

This doesn’t mean you have to give the relationship another chance. However, it does mean that you have to build a certain bond with your ex for your children. After all, you will have to see him often. 

4. Don’t get obsessed with the situation

Let it go, let time do its thing and don’t pay too much attention to your ex’s behavior. Someone in pain can say much more painful things, but it’s up to you to decide how you respond. 

• Focus on something else.
• Don’t think about it too much.
• Focus on the things that are important to you.

If you think about the situation too much and it starts to bother you, your ex will get exactly what he wants. Don’t give him that pleasure!

In time, you will see that the problem is entirely with your ex. Do not feel guilty. Your ex will have to realize that he has to get over this problem and move on.  

5. Don’t Fight Back

If your ex treats you badly or makes a hurtful comment, make sure you don’t react the same way. So don’t throw oil on the fire. Confrontation in these cases is usually completely useless and will only cause more pain in the end.

Throwing oil on the fire will only make it even bigger. So be careful, don’t play in their games and be the better person.